Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Of Rashes and Pediatricians: The Epic Conclusion

When last we met, Evie was rashy, but not feverish, and Daniel was fleeing the scene of the crime.  Smart man.

After discovering the rash, there was no need for further internal debate with my hypochondriac self (who is rapidly leaking into hypochondriac mom mode) about whether I should take Evie to the doctor.  She was going.

At 10am, I called Pediatrician #2's office to see if I could get an appointment for that morning and I got a voicemail saying they would call back.

No call back.

11am, I got online to double check the phone number for Pediatrician #2's office on his website.  I know, awesome idea...right?!  Wrong.  Pediatrician #2's website is gone. 

And they say things never disappear from the Internet.

Noon rolls around and I'm getting fidgeting and panicky.  So I called my doctor's office to see what they could do to help me.  Here's the funny thing about my doctor's office.  My doctor is a general practitioner who only sees adults.  But he is a practice partner and shares an office with one of the best pediatricians, Pediatrician #3, in our area.  Pediatrician #3 hasn't accepted new families as patients for several years, but he continues to take on the new tax deductions that his current patients keep having.

When Evie was born, I called Pediatrician #3 and name dropped my chiropractor because her family has been going to Pediatrician #3 for years.  Didn't work.  "No new patients...sorry."

Well, now I was desperate.  And not above sobbing a little on the phone.

Bekah:  Hi!  I'm a patient of Dr. X and I know he doesn't see kids, but my daughter has had a fever all weekend and now she's got a rash and her normal pediatrician is MIA and I'm starting to get worried.

Receptionist:  How old is she?

Bekah:  She's 16 months.  Is there anyway Pediatrician #3 can see her even though she's not a patient?  You've already got my info and insurance on file; she's on my policy.

Receptionist:  **Sigh**  Come in at 2pm.

That's when I did a happy dance in the middle of the kitchen while Evie looked at me as if she was witnessing the complete mental decay of a primary caregiver.  Actually, that's pretty spot on.

2pm rolls around and we are sitting in the reception area for Dr. X and Pediatrician #3.  When we are called back, I remind Evie to be on her best behavior.  She starts signing for food, which is when I realize that leaving the diaper bag with her sippy cup and snacks safely tucked in an inner pocket was a terrible mistake.

Pediatrician #3 comes into the exam room just as Evie is loudly protesting my god-forsaken mothering skills by screaming and furiously signing "Food!!!" repeatedly.  Yep, she's so talented that her sign language skills include exclamation points.

Pediatrician #3 puts Evie, who stopped demanding food when the tall stranger walked into the room, on the exam table to look her over.

Pediatrician #3: Hmm.  She's rather small.  Has she always been this small?

Bekah:  Only when I forget the snacks!  Hahaha!  Ok, yeah, bad joke.  I'll shut up now. 

Pediatrician #3:  **Disapproving look**

Bekah:  Oh wait, you wanted an answer.  Well my husband is Chinese and he's not a big guy and his parents are tiny, so she's probably always going to be small. 

Pediatricians #3: **Concluding the exam** Well it looks like a mild case of roseola, nothing to worry about.  She's not contagious any more, so there's no need to keep her shut up in the house any longer. 

Bekah:  Great!!

Pediatrician #3:  How exactly did you sneak in here?  I don't recognize you and I'm not taking new patients...

Bekah:  I begged.  Hahaha!  No seriously, I begged.  And I'm a patient of Dr. X and her normal pediatrician seems to be missing, so I thought I would give it a shot.

Pediatrician #3:  Well, it sure seems to have worked for you.  Any more questions before you leave?

Bekah:  **mustering up all my courage**  Well, since I've already snuck in once, what are the chances you'll take her as a long-term patient?

Pediatrician #3:  **Sigh**  I can't really tell you 'No' after you went to so much trouble, now can I?

YES!!!  I begged and cajoled my way into the coveted pediatrician's office!  I texted Daniel to tell him the good news.

Daniel wasn't sure about changing pediatricians.  Until I "Google stalked" Pediatrician #2 and found out that he allegedly committed insurance fraud.  And allegedly sold illegal fen-phen products to patients' parents. 

I texted Daniel the bad news and he is abso-frickin-lutely positive that we should change pediatricians. 

Now, if you'll excuse me, I will be off to drink a bottle of wine and try to recover from this week.  Except it's only Wednesday and I've got A LOT of week left. 

Better buy a case of wine.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Of Rashes and Pediatricians

I was considering making this post a two-parter (and I might still when I get to the end) because there is a whole lotta crazy to contain in one session.

I'm not even completely sure where to begin...

OK, how about this.  Remember about a year ago when I threw a fit all over Evie's first pediatrician's office because she refused to listen to me?  After that, we find Pediatrician #2 that I liked, but was a longer drive from the house than I would have preferred.  Eh, no big deal there.  We live in LA, which means we live in our cars and shout obscenities at people who cut us off.

Do you think blaring the Disney DJ Shuffle CD while shouting at other drivers will keep Evie from learning all those fun words?

Lie to me.

Back to my story. 

Everything was going peachy in our little world until last Thursday when I picked Evie up after work and noticed that she had a fever.  100.5, not a big deal, but enough for me to put the kibosh on her swim class that night.

Friday I didn't have to work and spent the majority of the day with Evie in my arms because she suddenly grew tentacles, complete with suction cups, that attached only to me.  Her fever continued through the day but wasn't too high, so I didn't bother calling the doctor.  Instead she had a few cool baths and ate popsicles for supper.  No worries...nothing too unusual.

Saturday she still had a fever and I was doing the "should I take her to the doctor on Monday" debate with myself.  I decided to wait the day out and see how she was feeling.  For the record, she was still feeling supremely tentacle-y.

Sunday the fever broke.  Huzzah!!  I made the executive decision to stay home from work on Monday to give her more time to recover.  Emails and text messages were sent to let necessary work people know.   Life was good.

And then Monday morning dawned bearing a poop covered gift basket of suckitude.

Daniel was up extra early to catch a flight to Las Vegas for a conference for work.  The dogs were up extra early because we recently cut Leylah's food back because she was gaining too much weight and now she thinks she is STARVING every second of every day.  Evie woke up extra early because she had gone to bed early Sunday night.

I went in to get Evie while Daniel finished packing and about dropped her back in the crib when I saw her face.  Red puffy eyes.  Red puffy upper lip.  Rash on her face, neck, chest and stomach. 


I took a few seconds to remind myself that I'm the mom and no matter how much I wanted to avoid touching my possibly infected child, I had to do it.  It helped when I reminded myself that she was probably super contagious all weekend while she was tentacle-y, so I had already been exposed to whatever germs were festering on/in her.

So I pulled her back out of her crib and showed her face to Daniel who promptly freaked out that disaster was striking...AGAIN...right as he was leaving town.  He felt terrible.  Not terrible enough to not go to Vegas, but terrible all the same. 

Yep, this is a two-parter, for sure.

Stay tuned for the awesome conclusion and the ridiculous details of how I got Evie admitted as a patient to Pediatrician #3!

Since I don't want anyone freaking out, let me just say this.  Evie is fine and dandy and back to herself today.  She still has the rash, but it's nothing to worry about.  Promise.

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Happy Anniversary!

Yesterday was our second anniversary.  And if you're doing the math that I currently have a 16 month old kid plus a 9 month growing period which means we had a pre-honeymoon baby, then let me explain.  Mmmm'kay?

Second as in we have two anniversaries, not second as in the second year.  Anniversary #1 - Elope.  Anniversary #2 - Big Wedding Shindig.  This was our third anniversary for the Big Wedding Shindig, which is our second anniversary to celebrate each year.

Good grief, I'm boring myself with this and it's my own gosh-darn collection of anniversaries!

Anyway, yesterday was an anniversary for something that has lasted I don't remember how many years.  Basically, it was an excuse to make Daniel take me out to supper and buy me wine.  Which he did.  Good husband!!

Daniel came home from Guam (again with that damn island!!) Tuesday morning and made Evie's entire day by reading the same book to her 40 bajillion times because that's what brings toddlers joy.  Well, that and seeing the horror on my face as I sprint across the yard in a futile attempt to stop her before she picks up the ONE PIECE OF POOP I missed while pooper-scooping the backyard. 

Molly and Leylah are unimpressed with Evie's literary choice of "Yummy Yucky."
And this is the part where I try to convince Daniel that story is hypothetical.  Or that I'm a faster sprinter than I actually am. 

Anyway, so Daniel took Tuesday to recover and Wednesday morning, I happily trotted off to work and left him at home to take care of Evie and the dogs.  No joke, I laughed to myself more than once in the car at the sheer joy of this happening.  And then I remembered what happened the last time I left Daniel to work from home with Evie.
Haha...I remember when I thought ^^this^^ was Evie with a lot of hair.

Eh.  Sports Center on a non-stop loop probably won't rot her brain.

I worked like crazy and headed home at 5pm so we could head out to our favorite Greek restaurant with Evie.  And Daniel.  Because it would have been rude to leave him home alone.  We arrived two minutes before the rush (yay!) and were able to get a table next to several couples who did not have a problem being stared at by a toddler (double yay!) and chatted about our days.

I had lamb and wine, Daniel had chicken, and Evie had her body weight in potatoes and pita bread.  We ate, we laughed, we were the epitome of a perfect family with our toddler furiously signing "more" for oven roasted starchy goodness.

We went home to discover that the dogs had not barfed (Molly) or pooped (Leylah) anywhere in the house, so we were happy.  Evie's new pajamas had arrived in the mail that day so I didn't have to squish her into old ones that were clean but too short, so we were happy.  Daniel got a phone call from his senior that he (the senior, not Daniel) had seriously botched an audit procedure, so we were not happy.

The night ended with me curled up with chamomile tea listening to Daniel telling this kid "What's the prime interest rate now?  Google it.  You don't KNOW HOW TO GOOGLE IT??  Here, I'll do it now, oh look, the prime rate is THE FIRST THING THAT POPS UP!!"

Sigh.  We're so romantic.  Thanks for the best year yet, babe.

Monday, May 12, 2014


What the frack has been wrong with me that I haven't posted in a month?

It's not that I haven't had the time.  I mean, I do have lunch breaks at work most days, but I just couldn't find it in me to post "happy" so I didn't.

It's not that things have been bad, per se.  They've been OK.  But busy and stressful.

Daniel's been back to Guam once since then and had a few 100+ hour work weeks in the middle. And he's leaving again on Saturday to Guam.  So that's been the stink.  Evie is old enough to realize he's gone and miss him, which makes for an unhappy baby for a few days (until she forgets again).  The dogs definitely don't forget that he's gone, so they are usually pretty unhappy too.  And I notice when he's not around, so I'm unhappy too.  And then there's his crankiness over being in Guam and working such long hours.

Basically we've been unbearable to be around for the last month or so. 

Hopefully we're in the process of crawling out from under that rock.  Like hermit crabs.  But less stinky.

No joke, those things smell like old bologna sandwiches that have been left in a hot car for a day or two.

And then there was Mother's Day, which I generally dislike because, while I love my mother dearly, the day in generally gets on my last damn frayed nerve.  I can't see my mom because she lives so far away...annoying.  I HAVE to do something for my mother-in-law because she doesn't take it well if we don't and the obligation of it is...annoying.  Even though I'm a mother now, I don't feel like it's a day "for me" and people keep acting like it's supposed to be a day "for me"...annoying.  So, similar to my birthday, I would be happy if Mother's Day just stopped. 

Bah humbug!!   I'm the worst Scrooge about holidays, if you haven't noticed yet.

Evie is growing up so quickly that it takes my breath away.  Sometimes it's in a good way and sometimes it's in a "waaaahhhhh...where did my baby go????" way.  Like Saturday when Daniel's hair stylist put her in two pigtails and my heart cried because she's old enough to have hair long enough to put in tiny pigtails.

Or that she's old enough to ride her tricycle when we walk the dogs. 
She doesn't use the pedals yet, but she is mildly obsessed
with ringing the bell on the handlebars.

Or that she is old enough to happily sit in a chair at by herself while we waited to bring Greek food home to Daniel one Saturday that he was working late. 
She and the salad prep guy had a brief, but lovely,
time waving "hi" to each other through the glass.

The pigtails. 
Break my heart, but when did she get big enough to sit in the chair and get her hair done???

Or when you see the light bulb over her head shine brightly when she realizes that words she says or sign language gestures she makes get the reaction she wants from us.  It's so cool to see her realize that she can communicate to us in a way that doesn't involve crying.  And that's partly selfish because, holy crapballs, the whining can get out of control some days!

This video is from the day she figured out that saying "sit" would get her on the couch faster than simply whining at me.  Now she runs straight for the couch and says "sit" over and over again until we put her up there.  Time for her to get her own chair!

Enough for now, I'll make a point to be better about posting regularly.  Pinky swear!

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Movie Monday except it's Tuesday

I was going to put these videos up yesterday, but I was in meetings from 9am to 4pm and would you believe that they expected me to pay attention instead of writing a blog post???


The audacity to think I should be doing the job they pay me to do!!

Oh and I was introduced as the CFO yesterday.  My actual title is Accounting Manager, but the woman I replaced was the CFO, so I guess I could use that title.  I could also be called the Accounts Payable Clerk because I do that too.  Hell, I'm the entire accounting and finance department, so I could be called Bekah, Queen of Numbers and it would be appropriate.

I should ask for a raise.

Dancing to the DJ Shuffle song on Disney Jr this morning.  Turn on the sound and you'll hear her singing along to part of the chorus.

Her new favorite activity in the evenings.  We do this 10 or 12 times until she gets worn out.  She was starting to get tired here, which is why she was walking instead of running. 

And yes, she was staring at herself in the mirror as she walked by.

If you don't tickle her when you "catch" her, she will lay down in the floor and say "tick, tick, tick" until you tickle her.  It's the most adorable thing.  Ever.

Monday, March 31, 2014

Movie Monday

I'm waaay behind on my Paleo/Lent updates.  And life updates.  But I'm tired and PMS-y and trying to get through a giant pile of work so I can pick Evie up early, so I don't have time for a full-fledged update.

Maybe tomorrow?

For now, here's a video of Evie dancing to a DJ Shuffle video on Disney.  It's just short enough and upbeat enough to hold her attention for a minute or two.

She's not a TV kid.  She's a "run in the room to dance to her favorite commercial or song on the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and run back out to terrorize the dogs some more" kid.


Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Week 2 Update

Week 2 of the Lent Paleo challenge is over tonight!  Only 481 weeks left!

Or something like that.

Week 2 started off with a bang of celebration that my "detox headache" was gone and ended with a bang of angry T-Rex stomping around my office this morning. 

"Why?" you ask.  Let me explain.

I have a co-worker who started going to a Crossfit gym last November after much encouragement from his girlfriend and the always appreciated comment "well if Bekah can do it, then I guess I, an ex-Marine, can do it too."  The first month kicked the Ex-Marine's hiney all over the gym and I reveled in his pain. 

That's right.  I did.  I'm a terrible person who gets my chuckles watching other people come to realize that I regularly put myself through torture at the gym and it will be torture for them too.

Anyway, the Ex-Marine, after a month of going to Crossfit, decided to follow the Paleo diet to lost 80 pounds and get back to a healthy weight.  I've got to give him props, he's lost weight and is much healthier thanks to cleaning up his diet and working out again.

But now he has a "mi casa, su casa" approach to the food that I keep in my office for my snacks because we're both Crossfitters and eat Paleo.

Ex-Marine:  Hey Bekah, can I have some of your almonds?  I'm hungry and I've got a late lunch meeting.  There's no way I'm going to make it another hour.

Bekah:  Sure.  Go ahead and have some.

That was the conversation we had last week.

This is how I translated what I said: "Feel free to ask me if you want some of my snacks because you are hungry."

This is how the Ex-Marine translated what I said:  "Feel free to have some almonds now and then I'll have someone unlock Bekah's office on the days she isn't here, eat all of her almonds, and throw the bag away so when she comes back to work, she can't even sniff the leftover almond fumes in a vain attempt to stave off her own hunger."

No joke.  That jerkface ATE ALL OF MY ALMONDS. 

When I realized it this morning, I stomped around our empty office for 10 minutes angry and cranky and cursing like a hungry pirate.

Our office was empty because everyone, including the Ex-Marine, is in Texas for a meeting with a new partner.  He's lucky because I would have chewed him up one side and down the other for eating all my food and not having the decency to replace it.

Literally chewed.  I was hungry.